What Do You Mean By Permanent Nerve Damage?

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What Do You Mean By Permanent Nerve Damage?

By Kaycee Nilson
Apr. 4, 2006

I recently learned that in my back, I now have permanent nerve damage in the lower lumbar region. This explains why I am in daily pain. Today the pain is bad because it is raining here in the beautiful city of Chicago.

This also explains why I can’t have surgery right now. They need to determine just how bad the damage is, so off for more tests I go. My children are worried, but I keep reassuring them that Mom’s going to be just fine! The last thing they need before spring testing is to worry about Mom.

I have the best doctors in all of Chicagoland helping me to overcome the pain and I’m learning pain management. Along with trying to keep my manic depression under control, I think I’m doing pretty well. I work out three times a week on my Tony Little “Gazelle.” I have changed my diet to pure grain breads and to brown rice. Plus all the fresh fruits and veggies I want.

So far I have lost 18 pounds in 6 weeks thanks to the change in my diet. I still have another 10 – 12 that I would like to loose to help my back by not carrying so much weight. Yes, I am an EATER! And I’m not ashamed to admit that I love my beef and fried chicken. I am addicted to fried shrimps and to fried zucchini.

I love fatty foods, and cutting them out of my life and eating a more vegetarian diet has made me feel better actually. I have had less depression days than I had before I switched out my diet and began to use Splenda rather than sugar as well. I even bake with it.

I think that giving up steak has been the hardest for me. I might get depressed from time to time, but instead of lasting weeks and weeks, it is only about a week now. But my manics are also less frequent and last for only a week. Most of the time I am in such pain and on nerve pills and muscle relaxers so I sleep a lot.

I also have been having more writer’s block than anything. It’s been hard to help the baby with his Brighter Learning’s sets. Thank god for my personal assistant. He’s great to help the baby with his at- home day care lesions. I’m so thankful that the state saw that I have a disability and is paying my personal assistant to help me with the house and the boys. I don’t think that anyone knows what a blessing Greg and his wife Wanda really are to me.

To face nerve damage in my back, along with the broken bone is enough to make even Mother Theresa angry. But I am not going to be angry or have self-pity. If I wallow in pity, then I will miss out on my life. I will miss out on the boys and on my daughter’s lives. I can’t do that, I have to keep up and still be Mom even though I am disabled.

I don’t want them to remember these years as the years Mom was too sick to do anything with them. I want them to remember the happiness and joy.

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About the author: Kaycee Nilson has completed her first novel, "Night Falls on Chicago." The first two chapters can be viewed at http://www.KayceeNilson.com.

Besides writing columns for Useless-Knowledge, Kaycee is currently working on two more novels, "From the Mind of a Vampire", and "I'll Love You Til You Die."

If you have enjoyed what you read, or would like to leave Kaycee a message, please visit her message board at http://www.KayceeNilson.com/Board

Email: Kaycee@kayceenilson.com

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