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 By Jack Lepiarz Dec. 31, 2005 First and foremost, I'd like to thank Ken Hughes for his kind words in "How Has 2005 Benefited Useless Knowledge?" Secondly, I'd like to thank everyone else that has sent me feedback on any of my articles. From Tim Stelly, to Brooks Mick, to Ron Lewis, thank you all. I'm somewhat less of a loudmouth kid because of you guys. I'd like to thank my friends and family, who have faithfully read my articles on Useless Knowledge. But, before I get carried away, I'd like to make some predictions and say a few of my hopes for 2006. Obviously, my first hope is to graduate high school and go to college. As long as I don't really screw up, that shouldn't be too difficult. I would love to have either of my books published, but I don't think that's going to happen any time soon. The 2006 elections are still a ways off, but it is my prediction that the Democrats will have small gains in both sides of Congress. Will it be enough to give them a majority? I doubt it. There's still eleven months until next November, and I can't see George Bush's approval rating going down much more in the next year. If anything it'll probably improve. Howard Dean will continue to be the laughingstock of the Republicans and the poster boy for left-wing radicals. My personal opinion of him will get worse as time goes on. Intelligent Design will have mixed victories in various places around the country, winning in some places, being struck down in others. The issue of gay marriage will become more and more obscure as the year goes on. Useless Knowledge will be put back on Google as the site becomes even better, and Mac will break the 700 articles mark. I will finally meet Tucker Carlson (and with my luck, Ann Coulter too), as "The Situation" continues to fall in ratings as more viewers switch to the Daily Show and Colbert Report. I will get detention, but manage to get out of it by successfully appealing to the assistant principal. I will be absent from my 7th and 8th period classes as June continues to approach. While working with a bullwhip for this year's talent show, I will somehow injure myself and consequently be censored out of the talent show by the school administration, who will fear getting a couple letters from perturbed parents. On the last day of school, I will get someone to walk into the nurse's office with their pants on fire. The nurse will not be pleased. And last but not least, the world will come to an end as possums rise up and reveal themselves as evil robots, and that their playing dead is actually just them recharging their batteries. Their regime will subsequently fall to aardvarks. But in all seriousness, I'd like to thank everyone again. The editor, the columnists, and the readers. I couldn't have done it without all of you. ------------ About the author: Jack Lepiarz is a senior at Madison High School. Born in Waco, Texas, he lived with the Big Apple Circus for much of his early childhood, eventually moving to Madison, New Jersey, where he now resides. Although he is often described as stubborn and egotistical, he tries to keep an open-mind towards new ideas and treat people the way he would like to be treated. Email: Jackwuzhere42@aol.com Tell a friend about this site! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com and are not allowed to be posted on other websites. ARTICLE THIEVES WILL BE PROSECUTED! |
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