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Dec. 27, 2005 “Hello Soldiers!” “I am your mighty general Ful Oh Poo and I want to explain to you this morning how we are going to complete our conquest of that capitalistic and decadent United States of America!” “First: We must continue reading American newspapers. We need to know where all the American forces are at all times. Fortunately our allies in the American media make this a very simple task.” “We now know, thanks to Paul Ames of the Associated Press that: “NATO [is] to deploy 6,000 troops to Southern Afghanistan in ‘06”. We may want to move quickly before America can pull any troops out of Afghanistan. It is better if the Americans stay stuck in Afghanistan than be free to deploy against us when we attack Taiwan!” “We also know, thanks to the “Stars and Stripes” reporting of Terry Boyd and Jeffrey Schogol that the American “DOD may halt deployment of 2 brigades to Iraq” and that “Portions of units either will stay in Kuwait or go home”. “We would like to see them go home. If they go home then perhaps it will be with them as wrote Leo Shane III of the “Stars and Stripes in his article: “Returning troops prone to drinking, divorce”. The more American soldiers who become demoralized with alcohol and divorce the better it will be for our soldiers in the long run.” “Our Navy is watching eagerly for a follow-up report by “Stars and Stripes” reporter Juliana Glitter concerning the reported “Nuclear Carrier to boost capabilities in Pacific theater”. “I am not too sure we have needed to worry here since the deployment of this new carrier isn’t due to happen until sometime in 2008. We don’t need our Japanese enemies supported by this new carrier so it may mean moving our plans for world conquest up a couple of years.” “We don’t know yet how the “7000 Marines to relocate from Okinawa to Guam over 6 years” report by Jeff Schogol of the “Stars and Stripes” will affect our troop movements in the Pacific; or the movement of the E-2 Hawkeye aircraft from one airbase to another in Japan will affect our future air defenses, but we are working on that.” “Just remember to read. Read everything you can from the American press. That last article alone gave us valuable information on eight planned American forces movements in the Pacific; valuable information indeed!” “Secondly: Look at this article: “Anti-war Congressman seen as “perfect storm” in the Associated Press by Kimberly Hefling. Look well at the picture of this man. We will make sure you all have a copy. This is a man we can trust! When things get very difficult for the Americans we can trust this man Murtha to support our cause and call for American retreat!” “Until our next briefing on worldwide conquest, remember that I, General Ful Oh Poo am keeping up on all the latest American trop movements! We will be victorious thanks to all our helpers in the American Press and the American Congress! DISMISSED!” ------------ About the Author: Michael John McCrae has contributed over 500 articles to Useless-Knowledge.com. Email: macswordV@hotmail.com Tell a friend about this site! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com and are not allowed to be posted on other websites. ARTICLE THIEVES WILL BE PROSECUTED! |
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