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Dec. 26, 2005 I got my crystal ball out(note to self: get a new crystal ball. It never tells me anything about the stock market or the superbowl.) And it showed me the weird, the surprising, and the amusing that would happen in 2006. (Predictions not valid in UT, MA, TN, or Canada.Predictions for entertainment purposes only.) Sorry. The stupid thing was showing me all the exculsions again. Chuck Schumers head will explode during the Alito confirmation hearings, and the exposed wires will prove beyond the shadow of a doubt that he's a robot being controlled by aliens, or Canadians. The picture is a bit fuzzy on that. In an attempt to win a championship the Chicago Cubs will quit the MLB and join the little leagues. Their dissapointing third place finish will lead to them disbanding. Osama Bin Laden will grow so desperate for attention that he will enter into negotiations for a guest spot on Desperate Housewives. But his scenes of playing Achmed the gardener will not make it on the air. After a successful government runs a peaceful Iraq Howard Dean will address the nation saying he was for the war all along. In another shocker he will confess that he was put in charge of the DNC by the republicans. Harry Reid will fall onto the floor of the senate in the fetal position and start crying after a disastorous '06 leaves only 34 democrats in the senate. Michael Newdow will accidentally prove Gods existence. Newdow will sue God in San Francisco court due to an "act of God" that destoys Newdows house. Tired of putting up with Newdow's crap God will appear in court and make Newdow cry like a little girl when God puts him in a headlock. Hollywood will make a remake of Godzilla vs. King Kong, but with a left wing political message. No one will go and see it. Michael Moore will make an awful and stupid "documentary"... oh... sorry tha's an old prediction coming through. I guess I didn't erase that one. The democrats slogan will be "Americans are racist, homophobic, xenophobic, and the cause of the worlds problems. Vote democrat in '06." The Simpsons will reach 400 episodes by splicing scenes from old show together to make new epsiodes. The Simpsons will still be the best thing on TV. Well, that's all the crystal ball will show me. It's probably wrong but what a year 2006 will be even if it's half right. ------------ About the author: Craig Chamberlain has written more than 100 articles for Useless-Knowledge.com. Email: craig_chamberlain@hotmail.com Tell a friend about this site! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com and are not allowed to be posted on other websites. ARTICLE THIEVES WILL BE PROSECUTED! |
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