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 By Argile Stox Dec. 18, 2005 I rarely think about my death. In my pre-teens and adolescence elderly individuals in my family were dropping like flies. However, I really did not give it much thought. In my mid-twenties, more elderly individuals met their maker – still, I did not give any thought to my demise. Throughout my thirties & forties, individuals took the eternal dirt-nap and my mind refused to accept that death could snag me at any moment. At the time of this writing, I am fifty-one, five months - five days old; recovering from a recent heart attack. As the doctors and nurses were fighting to save my life in the Rapid City Regional Hospital, Rapid City, South Dakota on Dec.10, 2005 – my mind was jolted by the realization of my imminent death. In one spit second, my heart could stop pumping – all efforts to revive me could fail – and my brain would begin its rapid slide into death. Three minutes – that is all it takes for a human brain to become irreparably damaged from lack of oxygen. If I was revived after that, I would be a vegetable or worse – have all my memories erased by brain cell death, not able to speak or recognize anyone. Would I be able to hear individual’s words or be able to see? As I was recovering in the ICU – a nurse asked, “If you should have another heart attack while in the hospital, do you want extraordinary measures taken to revive you?” My immediate reaction was “No, I will sign a DNR (Do Not Resuscitate). Then she asked, “Well, suppose your heart just needed to be shocked back into a normal rhythm?” I said, “Okay, you can do that.” “Well, suppose an artery was to burst and the doctor needed to crack your chest to repair it?” The nurse asked. I thought about that for a moment and said, “Well, okay – that can be done.” “Looks like you do not want to sign a DNR – right?” The nurse said, with a slight chuckle in her voice. “Okay, point taken,” I said, and I laughed too. I thought about Tracy and our relationship. Our relationship is wonderful and we get along famously. She would have been pretty pissed off at me if I signed a DNR and I died due to the fact that the doctor could not shock my heart and or open my chest to repair an artery. In death, she would never talk to me again –LOL! So, now I am slightly consumed with my death. While in the hospital a Priest stopped by (I am Jewish) and offered to pray with me to hasten my recovery. We prayed together for about five minutes. He did say that there was a Jewish doctor connected with the hospital (not a Rabbi) that could stop by and have a “talk” with me. I declined, due to the fact that there was nothing on a spiritual plain I needed to discuss. After the Priest left, I wondered why the hospital did not offer up a psychologist and or psychiatrist to have a short chat with me. Having a heart attack and facing the aspect of death – I would imagine, would leave a patient with some random morbid thoughts. I did have some lingering questions about “Deathith – Interruptits,” and would have enjoyed a short session with a mental health professional. I guess if my experience of almost knocking on heaven’s door really bothered me, all I had to do was ask However, I believe it should be standard operating procedure that a mental health care professional should be called to “debrief” a heart attack patient about their experience. Okay, since I have to be my own therapist – my mind has been having a sub-conscious discussion / debate about my thoughts concerning death. Here are a few of the conclusions that have been brought forth over the past few days: “Argile, you did not have a “near-death experience,” for you never lost consciousness during the heart attack event. Therefore, you did not see any “light” and or deceased relatives welcoming you into heaven. You are alive, so deal with the heart attack and recovery situation; do not dwell on death.” My problem with that conclusion is, what if I have a massive heart attack at home, and expire in my sleep? That could happen – for I may have arteries in my heart that maybe clogged. I could just expire at any moment! “Argile Stox, there is no reason to hold a “death-watch” vigil. If the doctor’s had detected any other arteries that were partially blocked or completely blocked, they would have done an additional ballooning. Stop being such a worry-wart!” Yeah, okay. I still have pains in the left side of my chest, and place a nitro pill under my tongue at least three times a day. I religiously take the entire pill regimen that the doctor had prescribed, every day. Yet, I am scared that my heart will just keep attacking me until I die! “Argile, listen up! You have a follow-up appointment with the doctor on Dec. 30th. Advise him of what is going on during the appointment. He did advise you that a few by-pass operations maybe in your future – just wait and see what happens. Your heart is not pissed off at you, and does not want you dead. It is just sending you signal’s that it is not well, and needs more attention.” Okay. So, I should just carry on as if nothing has happened? “No, Argile! Just be careful! Do not lift anything over ten pounds, rest, heal, and relax. The worst is over. You need to calm down – Geez! Be grateful that you are still alive and kicking.” Okay, mind. I will take your advice. Speak to you later. ------------ Email Argile Stox: argilestox@gmail.com Tell a friend about this site! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com and are not allowed to be posted on other websites. ARTICLE THIEVES WILL BE PROSECUTED! |
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